From 8faf3009c0f031b1572acd005c410149933dea5f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: maxelweb Date: Mon, 20 May 2024 00:01:14 +0200 Subject: [PATCH] feat: update fortune app --- src/fortune/cookie.txt | 1312 +--------------------------------------- src/fortune_app.py | 10 +- 2 files changed, 11 insertions(+), 1311 deletions(-) diff --git a/src/fortune/cookie.txt b/src/fortune/cookie.txt index a4625a6..308da7f 100644 --- a/src/fortune/cookie.txt +++ b/src/fortune/cookie.txt @@ -1,1308 +1,8 @@ -"You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are -now extinct." - -- M. Somerset Maugham +"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take – Wayne Gretzky" + -- Michael Scott, The Office % -"If it ain't broke, don't fix it." - -- Bert Lantz +"If you want to see more, visit: " + -- marianosciacco.it % -"The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity." - -- Oscar Wilde -% -"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." - -- Voltaire -% -"There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them" - -- Heisenberg -% -"It takes all sorts of in & out-door schooling to get adapted -to my kind of fooling" - -- R. Frost -% -"Confound these ancestors.... They've stolen our best ideas!" - -- Ben Jonson -% -I just thought of something funny...your mother. - -- Cheech Marin -% -You will be successful in your work. -% -The life of a repo man is always intense. -% -If you're not careful, you're going to catch something. -% -That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they -really hate is lousy programmers. - -- Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle in "Oath of Fealty" -% -Wherever you go...There you are. - -- Buckaroo Banzai -% -Life in the state of nature is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short. - -- Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan -% -Lack of skill dictates economy of style. - -- Joey Ramone -% -Successful and fortunate crime is called virtue. - -- Seneca -% -The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do -nothing. - -- Edmund Burke -% -You may call me by my name, Wirth, or by my value, Worth. - -- Nicklaus Wirth -% -Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. -Teach a man to fish, and he'll invite himself over for dinner. - -- Calvin Keegan -% -Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future. - -- Niels Bohr -% -The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact -mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows. - -- Frank Zappa -% -Things are not as simple as they seems at first. - -- Edward Thorp -% -The main thing is the play itself. I swear that greed for money has nothing -to do with it, although heaven knows I am sorely in need of money. - -- Feodor Dostoyevsky -% -It is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions. - -- Robert Bly -% -Machines take me by surprise with great frequency. - -- Alan Turing -% -Uncertain fortune is thoroughly mastered by the equity of the calculation. - -- Blaise Pascal -% -After Goliath's defeat, giants ceased to command respect. - -- Freema Dyson -% -"It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. -Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top." - -- Hunter S. Thompson -% -...when fits of creativity run strong, more than one programmer or writer has -been known to abandon the desktop for the more spacious floor. - -- Fred Brooks, Jr. -% -...computer hardware progress is so fast. No other technology since -civilization began has seen six orders of magnitude in performance-price -gain in 30 years. - -- Fred Brooks, Jr. -% -The complexity of software is an essential property, not an accidental one. -Hence, descriptions of a software entity that abstract away its complexity -often abstract away its essence. - -- Fred Brooks, Jr. -% -Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because -God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software -engineer. - -- Fred Brooks, Jr. -% -Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex. - -- Ellyn Mustard -% -The only way to learn a new programming language is by writing programs in it. - -- Brian Kernighan -% -Perfection is achieved only on the point of collapse. - -- C. N. Parkinson -% -There you go man, -Keep as cool as you can. -It riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave. -Keep on being free! -% -Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, -and you'll be Gary, Indiana. - Jessie in the movie "Greaser's Palace" -% -Hoping to goodness is not theologically sound. - Peanuts -% -Police up your spare rounds and frags. Don't leave nothin' for the dinks. - -- Willem Dafoe in "Platoon" -% -"All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more -specific." - -- Jane Wagner -% -"Any medium powerful enough to extend man's reach is powerful enough to topple -his world. To get the medium's magic to work for one's aims rather than -against them is to attain literacy." - -- Alan Kay, "Computer Software", Scientific American, September 1984 -% -"The greatest warriors are the ones who fight for peace." - -- Holly Near -% -"No matter where you go, there you are..." - -- Buckaroo Banzai -% -Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be prosecuted. -% -Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be SHOT AGAIN! -% -"I'm growing older, but not up." - -- Jimmy Buffett -% -Scientists will study your brain to learn more about your distant cousin, Man. -% -"I hate the itching. But I don't mind the swelling." --- new buzz phrase, like "Where's the Beef?" that David Letterman's trying - to get everyone to start saying -% -Your own mileage may vary. -% -"Oh dear, I think you'll find reality's on the blink again." - -- Marvin The Paranoid Android -% -"Send lawyers, guns and money..." - -- Lyrics from a Warren Zevon song -% -"I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs." - -- H. L. Mencken -% -"Remember, Information is not knowledge; Knowledge is not Wisdom; -Wisdom is not truth; Truth is not beauty; Beauty is not love; -Love is not music; Music is the best." -- Frank Zappa -% -I can't drive 55. -% -"And they told us, what they wanted... - Was a sound that could kill some-one, from a distance." -- Kate Bush -% -"In the face of entropy and nothingness, you kind of have to pretend it's not -there if you want to keep writing good code." -- Karl Lehenbauer -% -Badges? We don't need no stinking badges. -% -I can't drive 55. -I'm looking forward to not being able to drive 65, either. -% -Thank God a million billion times you live in Texas. -% -"Can you program?" "Well, I'm literate, if that's what you mean!" -% -No user-servicable parts inside. Refer to qualified service personnel. -% -Do not underestimate the value of print statements for debugging. -% -Do not underestimate the value of print statements for debugging. -Don't have aesthetic convulsions when using them, either. -% -Conceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed from one -mind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds. - -- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month" -% -The evolution of the human race will not be accomplished in the ten thousand -years of tame animals, but in the million years of wild animals, because man -is and will always be a wild animal. - -- Charles Galton Darwin -% -"Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin." - -- Michael O'Donohugh -% -...though his invention worked superbly -- his theory was a crock of sewage -from beginning to end. -- Vernor Vinge, "The Peace War" -% -"It's like deja vu all over again." -- Yogi Berra -% -The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first. - -- Blaise Pascal -% -"Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he asked. "Begin at the -beginning," the King said, gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then -stop." -Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll -% -A morsel of genuine history is a thing so rare as to be always valuable. - -- Thomas Jefferson -% -To be awake is to be alive. -- Henry David Thoreau, in "Walden" -% -A person with one watch knows what time it is; a person with two watches is -never sure. Proverb -% -You see but you do not observe. -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, in "The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes" -% -A quarrel is quickly settled when deserted by one party; there is no battle -unless there be two. -- Seneca -% -Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced -- even a proverb is no -proverb to you till your life has illustrated it. -- John Keats -% -The fancy is indeed no other than a mode of memory emancipated from the order -of space and time. -- Samuel Taylor Coleridge -% -What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens. - -- Benjamin Disraeli -% -Nothing in progression can rest on its original plan. We may as well think of -rocking a grown man in the cradle of an infant. -- Edmund Burke -% -For every problem there is one solution which is simple, neat, and wrong. - -- H. L. Mencken -% -Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done. - -- James J. Ling -% -One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible. -Friendship needs a certain parallelism of life, a community of thought, -a rivalry of aim. -- Henry Brook Adams -% -Each honest calling, each walk of life, has its own elite, its own aristocracy -based on excellence of performance. -- James Bryant Conant -% -You can observe a lot just by watching. -- Yogi Berra -% -If the presence of electricity can be made visible in any part of a circuit, I -see no reason why intelligence may not be transmitted instantaneously by -electricity. -- Samuel F. B. Morse -% -"Mr. Watson, come here, I want you." -- Alexander Graham Bell -% -It's currently a problem of access to gigabits through punybaud. - -- J. C. R. Licklider -% -A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you. - -- Ramsey Clark -% -The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate -knowledge of its ugly side. -- James Baldwin -% -Small is beautiful. -% -...the increased productivity fostered by a friendly environment and quality -tools is essential to meet ever increasing demands for software. - -- M. D. McIlroy, E. N. Pinson and B. A. Tague -% -It is not best to swap horses while crossing the river. - -- Abraham Lincoln -% -Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images. - -- Jean Cocteau -% -In the future, you're going to get computers as prizes in breakfast cereals. -You'll throw them out because your house will be littered with them. - -- Robert Lucky -% -Get hold of portable property. -- Charles Dickens, "Great Expectations" -% -How many hardware guys does it take to change a light bulb? - -"Well the diagnostics say it's fine buddy, so it's a software problem." -% -"Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes. I get stranger things than you free -with my breakfast cereal." - -- Zaphod Beeblebrox in "Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy" -% -Uncompensated overtime? Just Say No. -% -Decaffeinated coffee? Just Say No. -% -"Show business is just like high school, except you get paid." - -- Martin Mull -% -"This isn't brain surgery; it's just television." - -- David Letterman -% -"Morality is one thing. Ratings are everything." - -- A Network 23 executive on "Max Headroom" -% -Live free or die. -% -"...if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, - this would be a better world." - Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Days" -% -Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too -dark to read. -% -"Probably the best operating system in the world is the [operating system] - made for the PDP-11 by Bell Laboratories." - Ted Nelson, October 1977 -% -"All these black people are screwing up my democracy." - Ian Smith -% -Use the Force, Luke. -% -I've got a bad feeling about this. -% -The power to destroy a planet is insignificant when compared to the power of -the Force. - -- Darth Vader -% -When I left you, I was but the learner. Now, I am the master. - -- Darth Vader -% -186,000 Miles per Second. It's not just a good idea. IT'S THE LAW. -% -Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward. -% -Gee, Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. -% -Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, -if ever, do they forgive them. - -- Oscar Wilde -% -Single tasking: Just Say No. -% -"Catch a wave and you're sitting on top of the world." - -- The Beach Boys -% -"Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them -seemed to come from Texas." - -- Ian Fleming, "Casino Royale" -% -"I think trash is the most important manifestation of culture we have in my -lifetime." - -- Johnny Legend -% -Even if you can deceive people about a product through misleading statements, -sooner or later the product will speak for itself. - -- Hajime Karatsu -% -Memories of you remind me of you. - -- Karl Lehenbauer -% -Life. Don't talk to me about life. - -- Marvin the Paranoid Android -% -On a clear disk you can seek forever. -% -The world is coming to an end--save your buffers! -% -grep me no patterns and I'll tell you no lines. -% -It is your destiny. - -- Darth Vader -% -Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at -your side. - -- Han Solo -% -How many QA engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? - -3: 1 to screw it in and 2 to say "I told you so" when it doesn't work. -% -How many NASA managers does it take to screw in a light bulb? - -"That's a known problem... don't worry about it." -% -To be is to program. -% -To program is to be. -% -I program, therefore I am. -% -People are very flexible and learn to adjust to strange -surroundings -- they can become accustomed to read Lisp and -Fortran programs, for example. - -- Leon Sterling and Ehud Shapiro, Art of Prolog, MIT Press -% -"I am your density." - -- George McFly in "Back to the Future" -% -"So why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here." - -- Biff in "Back to the Future" -% -"Falling in love makes smoking pot all day look like the ultimate in restraint." - -- Dave Sim, author of Cerebrus. -% -The existence of god implies a violation of causality. -% -"I may kid around about drugs, but really, I take them seriously." - -- Doctor Graper -% -Operating-system software is the program that orchestrates all the basic -functions of a computer. - -- The Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, September 15, 1987, page 40 -% -People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his -ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them. - -- Steven Wright -% -My brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big satellite photo of -the entire earth on it. On the back it said: "Wish you were here". - -- Steven Wright -% -You can't have everything... where would you put it? - -- Steven Wright -% -I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and -4 people died. - -- Steven Wright -% -You know that feeling when you're leaning back on a stool and it starts to tip -over? Well, that's how I feel all the time. - -- Steven Wright -% -I came home the other night and tried to open the door with my car keys...and -the building started up. So I took it out for a drive. A cop pulled me over -for speeding. He asked me where I live... "Right here". - -- Steven Wright -% -"Live or die, I'll make a million." - -- Reebus Kneebus, before his jump to the center of the earth, - Firesign Theater -% -The typical page layout program is nothing more than an electronic -light table for cutting and pasting documents. -% -There are bugs and then there are bugs. And then there are bugs. - -- Karl Lehenbauer -% -My computer can beat up your computer. - -- Karl Lehenbauer -% -Kill Ugly Processor Architectures - -- Karl Lehenbauer -% -Kill Ugly Radio - -- Frank Zappa -% -"Just Say No." - Nancy Reagan - -"No." - Ronald Reagan -% -Repel them. Repel them. Induce them to relinquish the spheroid. - -- Indiana University fans' chant for their perennially bad - football team -% -If it's working, the diagnostics say it's fine. -If it's not working, the diagnostics say it's fine. - -- A proposed addition to rules for realtime programming -% -In the realm of scientific observation, luck is granted only to those who are -prepared. - -- Louis Pasteur -% -core error - bus dumped -% -If imprinted foil seal under cap is broken or missing when purchased, do not -use. -% -"Come on over here, baby, I want to do a thing with you." - -- A Cop, arresting a non-groovy person after the revolution, - Firesign Theater -% -"Ahead warp factor 1" - -- Captain Kirk -% -Harrison's Postulate: - For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. -% -Mr. Cole's Axiom: - The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; - the population is growing. -% -Felson's Law: - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from - many is research. -% -If a person (a) is poorly, (b) receives treatment intended to make him better, -and (c) gets better, then no power of reasoning known to medical science can -convince him that it may not have been the treatment that restored his health. - -- Sir Peter Medawar, The Art of the Soluble -% -America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up. - -- Oscar Wilde -% -Unix: Some say the learning curve is steep, but you only have to climb it once. - -- Karl Lehenbauer -% -Sometimes, too long is too long. - -- Joe Crowe -% -When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, -an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. - -- Edmund Burke -% -"Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst." - -- Thomas Paine -% -"I say we take off; nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." - -- Corporal Hicks, in "Aliens" -% -"There is nothing so deadly as not to hold up to people the opportunity to -do great and wonderful things, if we wish to stimulate them in an active way." - -- Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry -% -"Athens built the Acropolis. Corinth was a commercial city, interested in -purely materialistic things. Today we admire Athens, visit it, preserve the -old temples, yet we hardly ever set foot in Corinth." - -- Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry -% -I do not believe that this generation of Americans is willing to resign itself -to going to bed each night by the light of a Communist moon... - -- Lyndon B. Johnson -% -Life's the same, except for the shoes. - -- The Cars -% -Adapt. Enjoy. Survive. -% -Were there fewer fools, knaves would starve. - -- Anonymous -% -Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to be -lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition. - -- Isaac Asimov -% -"Those who believe in astrology are living in houses with foundations of -Silly Putty." - -- Dennis Rawlins, astronomer -% -Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother. - -- Kahlil Gibran -% -Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith. - -- Paul Tillich, German theologian and historian -% -Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd. - -- Voltaire -% -If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit -in my name at a Swiss Bank. - -- Woody Allen -% -To downgrade the human mind is bad theology. - -- C. K. Chesterton -% -Life is a process, not a principle, a mystery to be lived, not a problem to -be solved. - -- Gerard Straub, television producer and author (stolen from Frank - Herbert??) -% -So we follow our wandering paths, and the very darkness acts as our guide and -our doubts serve to reassure us. - -- Jean-Pierre de Caussade, eighteenth-century Jesuit priest -% -Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the -improbable. - -- H. L. Mencken -% -And do you not think that each of you women is an Eve? The judgement of God -upon your sex endures today; and with it invariably endures your position of -criminal at the bar of justice. - -- Tertullian, second-century Christian writer, misogynist -% -I judge a religion as being good or bad based on whether its adherents -become better people as a result of practicing it. - -- Joe Mullally, computer salesman -% -Imitation is the sincerest form of plagiarism. -% -"Unibus timeout fatal trap program lost sorry" - -- An error message printed by DEC's RSTS operating system for the - PDP-11 -% -How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? - -One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored -power tools. -% -How many Bavarian Illuminati does it take to screw in a light bulb? - -Three: one to screw it in, and one to confuse the issue. -% -How long does it take a DEC field service engineer to change a light bulb? - -It depends on how many bad ones he brought with him. -% -It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. -It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg. - -- Thomas Jefferson -% -I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman -Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, -nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church. - -- Thomas Paine -% -God requireth not a uniformity of religion. - -- Roger Williams -% -I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature. - -- Thomas Jefferson -% -The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could -never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma. - -- Abraham Lincoln -% -We're here to give you a computer, not a religion. - -- attributed to Bob Pariseau, at the introduction of the Amiga -% -...there can be no public or private virtue unless the foundation of action is -the practice of truth. - -- George Jacob Holyoake -% -"If you'll excuse me a minute, I'm going to have a cup of coffee." - -- broadcast from Apollo 11's LEM, "Eagle", to Johnson Space Center, - Houston July 20, 1969, 7:27 P.M. -% -The meek are contesting the will. -% -I'm sick of being trodden on! The Elder Gods say they can make me a man! -All it costs is my soul! I'll do it, cuz NOW I'M MAD!!! - -- Necronomicomics #1, Jack Herman & Jeff Dee -% -"I'm a mean green mother from outer space" - -- Audrey II, The Little Shop of Horrors -% -Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo. - -- Andy Finkel, computer guy -% -Being schizophrenic is better than living alone. -% -NOWPRINT. NOWPRINT. Clemclone, back to the shadows again. - -- The Firesign Theater -% -Yes, many primitive people still believe this myth...But in today's technical -vastness of the future, we can guess that surely things were much different. - -- The Firesign Theater -% -...this is an awesome sight. The entire rebel resistance buried under six -million hardbound copies of "The Naked Lunch." - -- The Firesign Theater -% -We want to create puppets that pull their own strings. - -- Ann Marion -% -I know engineers. They love to change things. - -- Dr. McCoy -% -On our campus the UNIX system has proved to be not only an effective software -tool, but an agent of technical and social change within the University. - -- John Lions (University of New South Wales) -% -Those who do not understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly. - -- Henry Spencer, University of Toronto Unix hack -% -Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - -- Mark Twain -% -The sooner all the animals are extinct, the sooner we'll find their money. - -- Ed Bluestone -% -He's dead, Jim. -% -New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you. - -- David Letterman -% -You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word. - -- Al Capone -% -Remember, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over. - -- Frank Zappa -% -"There is no statute of limitations on stupidity." - -- Randomly produced by a computer program called Markov3. -% -There is a time in the tides of men, -Which, taken at its flood, leads on to success. -On the other hand, don't count on it. - -- T. K. Lawson -% -To follow foolish precedents, and wink -With both our eyes, is easier than to think. - -- William Cowper -% -It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters. - -- Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C. - A.D. 65) -% -Nothing ever becomes real until it is experienced. - -- John Keats -% -Your good nature will bring you unbounded happiness. -% -"We can't schedule an orgy, it might be construed as fighting" ---Stanley Sutton -% -Weekends were made for programming. - -- Karl Lehenbauer -% -"Ada is the work of an architect, not a computer scientist." - -- Jean Icbiah, inventor of Ada, weenie -% -I am here by the will of the people and I won't leave until I get my raincoat -back. - -- a slogan of the anarchists in Richard Kadrey's "Metrophage" -% -How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb ? - -Seven: One to install the new bulb, and six to determine what to do - with the old one for the next 10,000 years. -% -As long as we're going to reinvent the wheel again, we might as well try making -it round this time. - -- Mike Dennison -% -This restaurant was advertising breakfast any time. So I ordered -french toast in the renaissance. - -- Steven Wright, comedian -% -Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - -- David Letterman -% -e-credibility: the non-guaranteeable likelihood that the electronic data -you're seeing is genuine rather than somebody's made-up crap. - -- Karl Lehenbauer -% -Whenever people agree with me, I always think I must be wrong. - -- Oscar Wilde -% -My mother is a fish. - -- William Faulkner -% -Spiritual leadership should remain spiritual leadership and the temporal -power should not become too important in any church. - -- Eleanor Roosevelt -% -Truth has always been found to promote the best interests of mankind... - -- Percy Bysshe Shelley -% -It is wrong always, everywhere and for everyone to believe anything upon -insufficient evidence. - -- W. K. Clifford, British philosopher, circa 1876 -% -Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. - -- Voltaire -% -It is clear that the individual who persecutes a man, his brother, because -he is not of the same opinion, is a monster. - -- Voltaire -% -The man scarce lives who is not more credulous than he ought to be.... The -natural disposition is always to believe. It is acquired wisdom and experience -only that teach incredulity, and they very seldom teach it enough. - -- Adam Smith -% -A fanatic is a person who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. - -- Winston Churchill -% -We're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism... -we are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying -our nation today...our battle is with Satan himself. - -- Jerry Falwell -% -They [preachers] dread the advance of science as witches do the approach -of daylight and scowl on the fatal harbinger announcing the subversions -of the duperies on which they live. - -- Thomas Jefferson -% -Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proven innocent. - -- George Orwell -% -Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult -than to understand him. - -- Fyodor Dostoevski -% -The Messiah will come. There will be a resurrection of the dead -- all -the things that Jews believed in before they got so damn sophisticated. - -- Rabbi Meir Kahane -% -The world is no nursery. - -- Sigmund Freud -% -...I would go so far as to suggest that, were it not for our ego and -concern to be different, the African apes would be included in our -family, the Hominidae. - -- Richard Leakey -% -"Well, you see, it's such a transitional creature. It's a piss-poor -reptile and not very much of a bird." - -- Melvin Konner, from "The Tangled Wing", quoting a zoologist who has - studied the archaeopteryx and found it "very much like people" -% -"You need tender loving care once a week - so that I can slap you into shape." - -- Ellyn Mustard -% -"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God but to - create him." - -Arthur C. Clarke -% -"Why should we subsidize intellectual curiosity?" - -Ronald Reagan -% -"There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things - we don't know yet." - -Ambrose Bierce -% -"Plan to throw one away. You will anyway." - -- Fred Brooks, "The Mythical Man Month" -% -You need tender loving care once a week - so that I can slap you into shape. - -- Ellyn Mustard -% -"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God but to - create him." - -Arthur C. Clarke -% -"Why should we subsidize intellectual curiosity?" - -Ronald Reagan -% -"There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things - we don't know yet." - -Ambrose Bierce -% -"I have just one word for you, my boy...plastics." - -- from "The Graduate" -% -"There is such a fine line between genius and stupidity." - -- David St. Hubbins, "Spinal Tap" -% -"If Diet Coke did not exist it would have been necessary to invent it." - -- Karl Lehenbauer -% -In space, no one can hear you fart. -% -Brain damage is all in your head. - -- Karl Lehenbauer -% -Wish and hope succeed in discerning signs of paranormality where reason and -careful scientific procedure fail. - -- James E. Alcock, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. 12 -% -"It is better to have tried and failed than to have failed to try, but -the result's the same." - -- Mike Dennison -% -It is not well to be thought of as one who meekly submits to insolence and -intimidation. -% -"Regardless of the legal speed limit, your Buick must be operated at -speeds faster than 85 MPH (140kph)." - -- 1987 Buick Grand National owners manual. -% -"Your attitude determines your attitude." - -- Zig Ziglar, self-improvement doofus -% -Thufir's a Harkonnen now. -% -"If you want to eat hippopotamus, you've got to pay the freight." - -- attributed to an IBM guy, about why IBM software uses so much memory -% -Parkinson's Law: Work expands to fill the time alloted it. -% -Karl's version of Parkinson's Law: Work expands to exceed the time alloted it. -% -It is better to never have tried anything than to have tried something and -failed. - -- motto of jerks, weenies and losers everywhere -% -"...all the good computer designs are bootlegged; the formally planned products, -if they are built at all, are dogs!" - -- David E. Lundstrom, "A Few Good Men From Univac", MIT Press, 1987 -% -"To take a significant step forward, you must make a series of finite -improvements." - -- Donald J. Atwood, General Motors -% -"We will bury you." - -- Nikita Kruschev -% -"Now here's something you're really going to like!" - -- Rocket J. Squirrel -% -"How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars." - -- Steve Martin -% -"Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about." - -- B. L. Whorf -% -"For the love of phlegm...a stupid wall of death rays. How tacky can ya get?" - -- Post Brothers comics -% -"Bureaucracy is the enemy of innovation." - -- Mark Shepherd, former President and CEO of Texas Instruments -% -"An organization dries up if you don't challenge it with growth." - -- Mark Shepherd, former President and CEO of Texas Instruments -% -"I've seen it. It's rubbish." - -- Marvin the Paranoid Android -% -Our business is run on trust. We trust you will pay in advance. -% -"Infidels in all ages have battled for the rights of man, and have at all times -been the fearless advocates of liberty and justice." - -- Robert Green Ingersoll -% -I find you lack of faith in the forth dithturbing. - -- Darse ("Darth") Vader -% -"All Bibles are man-made." - -- Thomas Edison -% -"Spock, did you see the looks on their faces?" -"Yes, Captain, a sort of vacant contentment." -% -"The triumph of libertarian anarchy is nearly (in historical terms) at -hand... *if* we can keep the Left from selling us into slavery and the -Right from blowing us up for, say, the next twenty years." - -- Eric Rayman, usenet guy, about nanotechnology -% -"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." - -- Albert Einstein -% -"I think Michael is like litmus paper - he's always trying to learn." - -- Elizabeth Taylor, absurd non-sequitur about Michael Jackson -% -"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on." - -- Samuel Goldwyn -% -"We shall reach greater and greater platitudes of achievement." - -- Richard J. Daley -% -"With molasses you catch flies, with vinegar you catch nobody." - -- Baltimore City Councilman Dominic DiPietro -% -"Lead us in a few words of silent prayer." - -- Bill Peterson, former Houston Oiler football coach -% -"I couldn't remember things until I took that Sam Carnegie course." - -- Bill Peterson, former Houston Oiler football coach -% -"Right now I feel that I've got my feet on the ground as far as my head -is concerned." - -- Baseball pitcher Bo Belinsky -% -"Ninety percent of baseball is half mental." - -- Yogi Berra -% -"jackpot: you may have an unnecessary change record" - -- message from "diff" -% -"One lawyer can steal more than a hundred men with guns." - -- The Godfather -% -What's the difference between a computer salesman and a used car salesman? - -A used car salesman knows when he's lying. -% -"Those who will be able to conquer software will be able to conquer the -world." - -- Tadahiro Sekimoto, president, NEC Corp. -% -"There are some good people in it, but the orchestra as a whole is equivalent -to a gang bent on destruction." - -- John Cage, composer -% -"I believe the use of noise to make music will increase until we reach a -music produced through the aid of electrical instruments which will make -available for musical purposes any and all sounds that can be heard." - -- composer John Cage, 1937 -% -"One day I woke up and discovered that I was in love with tripe." - -- Tom Anderson -% -"Most people would like to be delivered from - temptation but would like it to keep in touch." - -- Robert Orben -% -The rule on staying alive as a program manager is to give 'em a number or -give 'em a date, but never give 'em both at once. -% -An optimist believes we live in the best world possible; -a pessimist fears this is true. -% -"If John Madden steps outside on February 2, looks down, and doesn't see his -feet, we'll have 6 more weeks of Pro football." - -- Chuck Newcombe -% -Dead? No excuse for laying off work. -% -Lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself. -% -"When people are least sure, they are often most dogmatic." - -- John Kenneth Galbraith -% -"Nature is very un-American. Nature never hurries." - -- William George Jordan -% -"We learn from history that we learn nothing from history." - -- George Bernard Shaw -% -"Flattery is all right -- if you don't inhale." - -- Adlai Stevenson -% -"Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - -- Bernard Berenson -% -"Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always -high, and the results usually disappointing." - -- Robert Orben -% -"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging -their prejudices." - -- William James -% -"Tell the truth and run." - -- Yugoslav proverb -% -"The best index to a person's character is a) how he treats people who can't -do him any good and b) how he treats people who can't fight back." - -- Abigail Van Buren -% -"Never face facts; if you do, you'll never get up in the morning." - -- Marlo Thomas -% -"Life is a garment we continuously alter, but which never seems to fit." - -- David McCord -% -"The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children -produce adults." - -- Peter De Vries -% -"It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them." - -- Alfred Adler -% -"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature... Life is -either a daring adventure or nothing." - -- Helen Keller -% -"Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is -shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods." - -- Albert Einstein -% -"Success covers a multitude of blunders." - -- George Bernard Shaw -% -"The mark of an immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while -the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one." - -- William Stekel -% -"Yes, and I feel bad about rendering their useless carci into dogfood..." - -- Badger comics -% -"Is it really you, Fuzz, or is it Memorex, or is it radiation sickness?" - -- Sonic Disruptors comics -% -"Most of us, when all is said and done, like what we like and make up reasons -for it afterwards." - -- Soren F. Petersen -% -"You're a creature of the night, Michael. Wait'll Mom hears about this." - -- from the movie "The Lost Boys" -% -"Plastic gun. Ingenious. More coffee, please." - -- The Phantom comics -% -The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words -return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy. -% -If at first you don't succeed, you are running about average. -% -"A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a -perfectly good kitten." - -- Doug Larson -% -"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody -appreciates how difficult it was." - -- Walt West -% -"Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone." - -- G. B. Stearn -% -"In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with -the current." - -- Thomas Jefferson -% -The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to -the left. -% -"But this one goes to eleven." - -- Nigel Tufnel -% -"Been through Hell? Whaddya bring back for me?" - -- A. Brilliant -% -"I've got some amyls. We could either party later or, like, start his heart." - -- "Cheech and Chong's Next Movie" -% -"And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead -by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business -product: a really sharp-looking report." - -- Dave Barry -% -SHOP OR DIE, people of Earth! -[offer void where prohibited] - -- Capitalists from outer space, from Justice League Int'l comics -% -"Roman Polanski makes his own blood. He's smart -- that's why his movies work." - -- A brilliant director at "Frank's Place" -% -"The following is not for the weak of heart or Fundamentalists." - -- Dave Barry -% -"I take Him shopping with me. I say, 'OK, Jesus, help me find a bargain'" ---Tammy Faye Bakker -% -Gary Hart: living proof that you *can* screw your brains out. -% -Blessed be those who initiate lively discussions with the hopelessly mute, -for they shall be know as Dentists. -% -"I don't believe in sweeping social change being manifested by one person, -unless he has an atomic weapon." - -- Howard Chaykin -% -"I mean, like, I just read your article in the Yale law recipe, on search and -seizure. Man, that was really Out There." - "I was so WRECKED when I wrote that..." - -- John Lovitz, as ex-Supreme Court nominee Alan Ginsburg, on SNL -% -"Hi, I'm Professor Alan Ginsburg... But you can call me... Captain Toke." - -- John Lovitz, as ex-Supreme Court nominee Alan Ginsburg, on SNL -% -It's great to be smart 'cause then you know stuff. -% -"Time is money and money can't buy you love and I love your outfit" - -- T.H.U.N.D.E.R. #1 -% -"Can't you just gesture hypnotically and make him disappear?" - "It does not work that way. RUN!" - -- Hadji on metaphysics and Mandrake in "Jonny Quest" -% -"You shouldn't make my toaster angry." - -- Household security explained in "Jonny Quest" -% - "Someone's been mean to you! Tell me who it is, so I can punch him tastefully." - -- Ralph Bakshi's Mighty Mouse -% -Victory or defeat! -% -"Everyone is entitled to an *informed* opinion." - -- Harlan Ellison -% -"It's curtains for you, Mighty Mouse! This gun is so futuristic that even -*I* don't know how it works!" - -- from Ralph Bakshi's Mighty Mouse -% -"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." - -- George Carlin -% -A university faculty is 500 egotists with a common parking problem. -% -"If it's not loud, it doesn't work!" - -- Blank Reg, from "Max Headroom" -% -"Remember kids, if there's a loaded gun in the room, be sure that you're the -one holding it" - -- Captain Combat -% -Delta: We never make the same mistake three times. -- David Letterman -% -Delta: A real man lands where he wants to. -- David Letterman -% -Delta: The kids will love our inflatable slides. -- David Letterman -% -Delta: We're Amtrak with wings. -- David Letterman -% -"Where humor is concerned there are no standards -- no one can say what is -good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. - -- John Kenneth Galbraith -% -"Hello again, Peabody here..." - -- Mister Peabody -% -"It's the best thing since professional golfers on 'ludes." - -- Rick Obidiah -% -"Well, social relevance is a schtick, like mysteries, social relevance, -science fiction..." - -- Art Spiegelman -% -"And remember: Evil will always prevail, because Good is dumb." - -- Spaceballs -% -Pohl's law: - Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it. -% -Pig: An animal (Porcus omnivorous) closely allied to the human race by the -splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, -for it balks at pig. - -- Ambrose Bierce -% -"We don't have to protect the environment -- the Second Coming is at hand." - -- James Watt -% -"I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this - country what it once was... an arctic wilderness." - -- Steve Martin -% -"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition." - -- Woody Allen -% -Noncombatant: A dead Quaker. - -- Ambrose Bierce -% -"There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it -is I'll get married again." - -- Clint Eastwood -% -A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. -I believe everything positively stinks. - -- Lew Col -% -Q: How many IBM CPU's does it take to execute a job? -A: Four; three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off. -% -Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock. -% -Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: - Experience is directly proportional to the - amount of equipment ruined. -% -Captain Penny's Law: - You can fool all of the people some of the - time, and some of the people all of the - time, but you can't fool mom. -% -"Because he's a character who's looking for his own identity, [He-Man is] -an interesting role for an actor." - -- Dolph Lundgren, "actor" -% -"If Jesus came back today, and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never -stop throwing up." - -- Max Von Sydow's character in "Hannah and Her Sisters" -% -"Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. -God -- I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again." - -- Woody Allen's character in "Hannah and Her Sisters" -% -"Only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core." - -- Hannah Arendt. -% -Quod licet Iovi non licet bovi. -(What Jove may do, is not permitted to a cow.) -% -"I distrust a man who says 'when.' If he's got to be careful not to drink too -much, it's because he's not to be trusted when he does." - -- Sidney Greenstreet, _The Maltese Falcon_ -% -All extremists should be taken out and shot. -% -"The sixties were good to you, weren't they?" - -- George Carlin -% -"You stay here, Audrey -- this is between me and the vegetable!" - -- Seymour, from _Little Shop Of Horrors_ -% -From Sharp minds come... pointed heads. - -- Bryan Sparrowhawk -% -There are two kinds of egotists: 1) Those who admit it 2) The rest of us -% -"The picture's pretty bleak, gentlemen... The world's climates are changing, -the mammals are taking over, and we all have a brain about the size of a -walnut." - -- some dinosaurs from The Far Side, by Gary Larson -% -"We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb -your cities." - -- Robin Williams, _Good Morning Vietnam_ +"Wanna add me on LinkedIn?" + -- in.marianosciacco.it diff --git a/src/fortune_app.py b/src/fortune_app.py index 72a6029..04d559a 100644 --- a/src/fortune_app.py +++ b/src/fortune_app.py @@ -25,8 +25,8 @@ state = { "running": "badge_app", } -IMAGE_WIDTH = 64 -IMAGE_HEIGHT = 64 +IMAGE_WIDTH = 29 +IMAGE_HEIGHT = 32 def render(): display.pen(15) @@ -47,10 +47,10 @@ def draw_clippy(): y = 21 width = 294 height = 106 - draw_window(display, x, y, width, height, " Special ") + draw_window(display, x, y, width, height, " Information ") clippy_dat = bytearray(int(IMAGE_WIDTH * IMAGE_HEIGHT / 8)) - open(f"images/clippy.bin", "rb").readinto(clippy_dat) + open(f"images/logo.bin", "rb").readinto(clippy_dat) display.image(clippy_dat, IMAGE_WIDTH, IMAGE_HEIGHT, 212, 56) # scrollbars @@ -92,7 +92,7 @@ def draw_elements(): display.pen(15) display.clear() - draw_ui(display, "Special") + draw_ui(display, "About") draw_clippy()